I don't know why I can not be someone's best friend. I had some, but those didn't last for a long time. That means they're not my besties and I wasn't theirs. Okay? I am not a true person for everyone. Except if you are a frontal person, I can give an excuse for this kind of person. I just hurt my friend's heart again. A girl, a kind girl. Not like me. And she's blessed and I am not. I just can't accept how everything could be so easy on her life. Not because I don't have any idea about that. I can't accept it because I know why! Like I said I am not a good girl. Just like average girls you see in their 17 moments. I ain't good but I ain't that bad. But I am nothing like her. She's just blessed, she said. I have tried to be good enough, but I just can't. It seems like this is what I am now and it is hard to change it. It makes me cry every single time I think about I can't be like what my Jesus wants me to be. And that's what lead me to think that He doesn't love me anymore. I've been bad. And every single second I try to be conscious about that. I try to talk to Him about this. Promise that I won't do the same bad thing anymore. But, hell, I broke my promise. "You are not metamorphosing if you can always go back to what you used to be. Metamorphosing is getting better and never go back". And this is what I can not achieve in my life. And that makes me think that the mess I feel everyday is just the result of what I've been untill now. I've been thinking about that if I can be as good as her, I can reach the peak of an achievement eventhough I'm good at nothing. This is an ironic sentence, but it is true. I really want you to know, that this is the only thing I hate about you. Why you always get what you want? Why did you get those amazing scores eventhough you're not that smart? I know we're different, sister, you are blessed, and I am not. Thank you for mentioning that.

Passion

Yesterday's Radio Show was so impressive! White Shoes and The Couples Company was there with Fariz RM. I've been waiting so long to see WSATCC on TV. They are so unlikely the band who perform on TV show three times a day. But that what makes them worth waiting and worth watching! They played Vakansi, Matahari, Kisah Dari Selatan Jakarta, Senandung Maaf, dan Senja Menggila. They were too damn cool. Nothing too much on their stage act, but it just flattered me by looking at those people enjoying their own part in the band. I'm no hyperboling. They collaborated with Fariz RM for Selangkah Keseberang and it was such a collaboration. Eventhough Fariz and WSATCC's style of interpreting the song is kinda different, but they were cool enough. There was also another interesting thing in the show last night. A carrier consultant came as a guest. His way of explaining how your passion can avoid you from working for the rest of  your life is so much amazing. His expression, intonation, words, so fine. But there is one thing I've been wondering since yesterday. What''s my passion? There are some ways to answer this question:

1. When you're talking to your friends or partners, what do you usually talk the most?
2. When you're browsing on the internet, what do you usually look for the most?
3. What seems to be your hobby?
4. When you're happy doing it, then your passion is there
5. Nothing to be insisted in doing something that seems to be your passion

okay, i tried to answe them, and yes I found it, ART, specifically, MUSIC. This is, I think the best thing in my life I could ever get. When I sing, I don't feel I am insisting myself to do that. I can't even wait to sing when there's a possibility to do it.You don't need to get something in return when you're done doing your passion. You're doing it because you're happy to do it and you want to do it not because you need to do it. Now, that's passion for sure. And I started to think that I can't just easily do my passion. I need to have something before I can enjoy my life doing my passion. I need to have done my parent's passion of achieving university. AHAAA! 

The Making of Salted Eggs

taken with Lya's beloved Canon errr, what type Len? err, a'ight forget it
Dalam rangka Ujian Praktek Biologi

Closer

Kawan-kawan! UAS selesai! Tapi masih ada Ujian Praktek dan Ujian Nasional loh! Ah serius! Iya! 


Haha, ya UAS di Bekasi memang udah selesai. Jakarta baru akan mulai minggu depan. Sedangkan minggu depan, kami yang di Bekasi akan memulai Ujian Praktek (UP) atau mungkin sudah ada yang colong start di waktu-waktu sebelum UAS. Ga terasa udah kurang dari sebulan lagi UAN akan datang. Ini pertama kalinya aku ngerasa ga siap untuk menghadapi judgement day versi anak sekolahan. Waktu SMP, rasanya siaaap banget. Rasanya semua soal udah siap buat dibantai. Jenis soal yang sama setiap hari dikasih dan itu bikin semuanya nempel banget di otak. Sedangkan waktu SMA ini, agak sedikit berbeda. Yah, ga perlu dijelaskan. Jadi merasa sedikit takut, apalagi ada gosip soal 20 paket semu. Sebenernya istilah ini aku yang bikin hihihi. Jadi ada 5 paket seperti tahun kemarin yaitu A,B,C, dan D. Tapi bedanya adalah, ada A1, A2, A3, A4, dan seterusnya. Kalo kata Mr. & Mrs. Know It All a.k.a Guru di sekolah aku, A1, A2, A3, A4 itu soalnya sama tapi diacak. Yah, masih gatau sih, kayaknya belom ada pengumuman yang resmi banget gitu di koran atau berita-berita di tv jadi masih seperti agak simpang siur. Hal ini dilakukan karenaaa, gosipnya lagi, pemerintah mau buat kebijakan tentang masuk ke universitas dengan menggunakan nilai UAN, jadi mereka berusaha sekeras mungkin membuat sistem ujian nasional yang bisa menghasilkan nilai-nilai yang murni dan bisa dijadikan persyaratan penerimaan mahasiswa baru. Masuk akal sih hahaha.
Anyway, semakin kesini rasanya segalanya semakin berat tapi ringan. Maksudnya? Gatau ini cuma aku aja atau yang lain juga ngerasa, kami sadar semuanya semakin dekat, hari penghakiman anak SMA kurang dari sebulan akan tiba tapi seperti tidak ada apa-apa yang menggemparkan. Begitu juga dari pihak sekolah. Atau mungkin sebenernya mereka lagi brainstorming cuman ga keliatan kali ya. Hope so :)

Daaaan, sekarang aku punya mainan baru. Sort of a tounge twister, tapi ini pake bahasa Padang.
Waktu itu diajarin Ican nyebut angka pake bahasa Padang dari 1-10. Dan penyebutan itu berlanjut sampe 50 lebih. 1-20 (cie, duo, tigo, ampe, limo, anam, tujuah, dalapan, sambilan, sapuluah, sapuluah cie, sapuluah  duo, sapuluah tigo, sapuluah ampe, sapuluah limo, sapuluah anam, sapuluah tujuah, sapuluah dalapan, sapuluah sambilan, dua puluah, dst)

Begini cara mainnya :

1. Ambil nafas secukupnya
2. Mulai menyebut angka 1-10
3. Ambil 1 tarikan nafas
4. Lanjut sebut 11-20
5. Ulangi langkah 3 dan teruskan sebutkan angkanya sampe 50
6. Tarikan nafas hanya boleh dilakukan sekali dalam jeda yang ada setelah menyebutkan 10 angka
7. Jika air liur menumpuk di mulut anda, cepet cepet telan sebelum ngeces semua keluar dari mulut
8. Angka bisa disebut sampai lewat dari 50
9. Have fun!

Waktu lagi ngobrol sama Ican

• V: Oh jadi kalo huruf vokal ketemu h atau ng ditambah a diantaranya ya?
• I:   Iya, Len. Jadi kalo tujuh?
• V:  Tujuah!
• I:   Bener, sepuluh?
• V:  Sapuluah
• I:   Anjing?
• V:  Anjiang!
• I:   Kampung?
• V:  Kampuang!
• I:   Nah kalo kuping?
• V:  KUPIAAANG!!
• I:   Salah, talingo...
• V: "........."

 Setelah pulang sekolah aku dan ican mampir ke PSB (aku lagi ngerjain LKS TIK dan ican sedang bersenang-senang di Wikipedia). Dan ternyata, setelah beberapa lama, aku baru tau kalau Ican itu lagi browsing soal negara-negara di dunia. Ajaibnya adalah, yang dia liat itu lambang negara dan lagu kebangsaannya. Jadilah, setelah LKS TIK itu selesai aku kerjain. Aku nimbrung aja sama dia dengerin lagu kebangsaannya Morocco, Malta, Namibia, Nicaragua, India, Romania, Vietnam, Thailan, Iran dan pokoknya negara-negara yang jarang aku tau. Yang paling lucu sih Morocco, soalnya dia ada vokalnya juga, sedangkan yang lain sebagian besar hanya instrumental yang dimainkan oleh marching band atau drum corps kenegaraan. Ga jelas banget sih kerjaan kita. Tapi Ican itu punya pengetahuan tentang negara Eropa yang paling ngetop di seantero sekolah. Anak IPS aja kalah kalo diadu sama dia. Paling kesel kalo main ABC 5 Dasar terus temanya nama-nama negara, dia pasti ga pernah hukum karena sebagian besar negara2 di Eropa dan Amerika di hafal. Sampe yang kayak Tajikistan,Rumania, Malta dan negara-negara yang jarang anak SMA tau, dia tau. Bahkan sampe beberapa negara dia hafal nama presidennya. Dia emang sering banget sih baca-baca Wikipedia soal negara-negara. No wonder dia bisa segitu lancarnya.
Akhir kata, apapun cara kami melupakan UAN sudah dekat, tetap saja, UAN S U D A H  D E K A T. Jadi, wish us, the senior high gangs, to get over those exams!

A Tree Grows In Brooklyn

A Tree Grows In Brooklyn

Beautiful I must say. A story about a girl named Francie Nolan who lived in Brooklyn with her family. Not rich, yet happy. She has a brother named Neeley and a strong hearted mother Katy who married to her handsome father, Johnny Nolan. The story was set in 1916-1919 which makes it feel so old and vintage. Betty Smith really is a marvelous writer. She explained everysingle corner of Brooklyn in a clear way. She wrote this story in a heart-warming way. A family story containing a lot of lessons about how to live when there's no one to count on. I'm happy to meet Francie Nolan, Neeley, Katie and Johnny. They were an unrich family who counted on daily income. They ate small pieces of black-yeast-bread and drink a cup of black coffee for the dinner. Sometimes, if they're lucky, they have more for dinner like some creamer for their coffee and a little piece of neat's tounge. Katie worked as a housekeeper and Johnny as a singer waiter. They didn't get much but enough to rent a house, to pay for Francie and Neeley's school, and to fulfil their daily needs. Johnny almost everynight came home drunk and sing lots of songs till he arrived in front of the door of their flat.There's a moment when Francie realized that her mother loved Neeley more than she does to her. Francie was good at writing imaginative stories and poems. She always wanted to show those to her mother but she discouraged herself not to. Because she knows, her mother wouldn't give a damn abou it. She's too busy for works. They moved a lot. Sometimes because they no longer were able to pay for the rent or, they wanted to find a better place to stay. They ended up in a flat in the Williamsburg.  At Christmas, children in Williamsburg compete to get a free pine tree. At the end of 24th of December, a pine tree seller would give a way a small pine tree. But a kid has to be strong to get it, because the seller would throw it to him and if he could get over it and not falling, he'll get it. Francie and Neeley wanted that tree so much, but they were tiny and really thin.They did it together, both of them, thrown by a tree. Neeley almost fell to the ground but Francie held him so he stayed in his position. And they got the tree, with scars all over that body, bleeding nose, only for a small pine tree they could decorate for Christmas. They pulled the tree all the way home. Katie would buy some cordwood for Christmas if they have more money. Those were happy years of Nolan's family, until Johnny died and everything changed. Katie was 5 month pregnant and she still needs to pay for her children's school also for daily needs. Seems like everything becomes heavier. But Katie was strong enough to face this. She's a strong girl, as strong as a bullet that she used to kill a man who was trying to rape Francie on her way back home from school. Francie decided to have a job and lied to a company that she was 17 when in fact, 15. She made $20 in a week, which was so much for the Nolan's family. The third baby was finally born. Her name was Anne Laurie which was actually a song 's title that Johnny sang when he was alive.Francie came into a summer college, met Ben and fell in love with him. Katie was finally married to Officer McShane whose his wife dead because of disease (they met in a summer camp)

This book is and American classic story, a fiction, but when you read it and illustrate it in your mind, you can get special sensation and feel that this is not a fiction. Betty Smith was a German immigrant who lived in Williamsburg with her family. Her mother was also a famous novel and play script writer. They both wrote wonderful words to read. A Tree Grows In Brooklyn is a beautiful story that taught us to struggle for life. Don't hesitate to do something you think it's true. And to love the life you have. Make the most of it. This is, generally a cliche story but Betty gave it to us in such and extraordinary way. It's beautiful, very beautiful her way to mention everything the family happened to do. Bookstore still publishes this book but with different cover, mine was really animated but it was the best cover illustration I think than other version. Edo said that the illustrator could be an introvert person based on his drawing. Anyway, there's no way I could describe more about this book and I am not going to insist you to buy it butif you want to feel what I feel than better buy one. No regret, I guarantee you :)

What's Barca without Messi?

"I think Barcelona will still be the best club 

in the world without Messi. But with him, 

it seems like Barcelona comes from 

another galaxy"

-Dutt (Coach of Leverkusen)

simple joy

So, I have some friends, I mean partner in music, specifically, partner in music for church and worhsipping.

I have a lot actually but these people are the closest, the best, the most friendly, the coolest, and the superlative form of a music maker. Some may think I am too hiperbolic in descripting them. But, I swear I am telling you the truth. Sometimes they might be scumbag but most of the time, they rock! They are Kevin William, Winda Limengka, Lourenchyus Alfredo, Novrianto Basidi, Timothy Joshua, Ivan Denata and Indah Alvernia. Unfortunately Indah couldn't join in the 'fun' yesterday. What was yesterday?? So yesterday, the third observance was the celebration of GKI HI's 18th birthday. They handed the music, me and Ivan become the singer. It was a lot of fun yet much confusing because Church Hymns kinda hard to sing, you know their notes sometimes hard to predict. But at the end then everyone was happy and we played well. Nothing is best than serving Him. It always brings you overloaded joy, more than anything could happen on you. 

When everyone was out of the room, Ka Winda took out 2 packs of snacks, they were chocolate and jelly belly but she called it "permen ceria" and suddenly all of us called that jelly belly as "permen ceria" too. I tastes so much "ceria", shaped like kidney and presented in various colours and each of them has different taste, yeah that is ceria! So that "ceria" is unexpectedly sticks with our zuper guitarist,Kevin William. And it led him to these super ceria tweets

Jelly Belly "Permen Ceria" Zuper Effect

But to be honest, I love seeing these tweets. I feel a lot of joy the moment I saw these tweets, feels like we're close enough and we feel the same happines. I love you guys 

I never felt this way before, I hate love you so much...






this post was fixed

Final Decision

Okay, so today I have finalized everything about that SNMPTN Undangan. The ASEAN Goes To School certificate has been uploaded as a supporting document. Yeah, and I hope that would really be supporting. Really want to upload my Biology Olimpiade certificate, but the teacher say I better not to, because I participated but didnt win anything. Quiet sad because "experience" isn't count here. But it's okay. And I would like to tell you what decision I have made. About the university and the major of course. Here they are.

 #orderedbypriority

1. University of  Padjadjaran - Phsycology
2. University of  Padjadjaran - Food Technology
3. Bogor Institute of Agriculture - Food Technology

Putting this kind of thing in my post doesn't mean that I wanna show off but I'm hoping for you to pray for me and wish me luck. Because if there are a lot more people have a willing to pray for me then in the name of God, the wish will become true. Amen. Okay, to finally come up with those 3 majors wasn't an easy job. I used to be obsessed with major like Medic/Medical, Industry Technology, Architecture and blah blah blah. Majors that if only I could attend one of them, I will blow my parents' head up. But, my teacher told me that whatever the major you are willing to attend, then it has to be something you like. Because the life in college is not as easy as what I may find in Senior High. There will be no teacher that seems to be so care reminding you about the assignment or test or whatever you have to do. You are on your own. And if you don't even enjoy it, how could you prove yourself? Because you can't even have the will to step up, to care about the major you have attended. This is a kind of serious case, which is like a decision wether you want to live or to die. But finally, I came up with those 3 majors that I fully understand everything I am going to learn or what kind of job I will be steping my foot on. Without any hesitation or any insistment from the third party (lol) I chose them. I feel like, this is the happiness when I can start to make a decision for my future. This is not gonna be easy and not always end up happily ever after, because SNMPTN Undangan is a kind of competition that you have to compete with millions of 3rd grader of Senior High students all around Indonesia. But, I just want to cheer up myself that nothing is impossible for God, although I am a bit scared about God doesn't even wanna look at me at all, because there are lots and lots of thing I've done wrong. Anyway, this suddenly becomes more private. And let's talk about the major again, I actually never thought about Phsycology before. I wasn't interested. But I think this is a good major you know when you don't have any other choice or more to be I don't want to study things like exact knowledge, ya know. Tired with chemistry, physic and mathematic. And never gets tired with biology :)

alright then i think that's all. I am typing with a wrong hand position so it's kinda hurt my left hand. 

Good Day!