The Golden Road - Chapter XII, page 146-148

Kami pergi menjelajah pada bulan Mei itu, mengikuti panggilan angin yang menari-nari menuju sebuah bukit landai di sebelah barat. Bukit ini terletak di bawah bentangan langit musim semi biru pucat, dikelilingi batang-batang pohon pinus dan cemara muda yang tegak mencungkup rongga-rongga dan sudut-sudut kecil tempat sinar matahari masuk dan tak pernah keluar lagi. Sinarnya matahari bersemayam di sana dan memberikan kehangatannya untuk menumbuhkan tanam-tanaman, padahal di tempat lain tunas-tunasnya masih terlelap.
    Di sanalah kami menemukan bunga-bunga mayflower kami, setelah lama mencari-cari. Bunga-bunga mayflower tidak pernah memamerkan diri. Mereka mesti dicari, barulah mereka akan menyerahkan harta berharga mereka kepada si pencari - gerumbulan bunga seputih bintang dan merah muda fajar yang menyimpan roh dan inti seluruh musim semi, dipancarkan lewat keharuman yang terlalus sederhana kalau disebut parfum, karena begitu lembut dan spiritual aromanya.
    Kami berkelana melintasi bukit, saling memanggil, tertawa, bercanda, terpisah satu sama lain dan menikmati tersesat di dalam hutan kecil tanpa jalan setapak itu, lalu kembali saling menemukan tanpa terduga di ceruk-ceruk, celah-celah, dan keheningan bermandikan cahaya matahari, tempat angin mendesir dan bertiup lembut dan berlalu perlahan. Saat matahari mulai tergantung rendah, menebarkan galur-galur cahaya besar seperti kipas sampai ke puncak, kami pun berkumpul di sebuah lembah kecil dan terpencil yang banyak ditumbuhi pakis-pakis hijau muda, di keteduhan bayang-bayang bukit berhutan. Di sana ada sebuah kolam dangkal-airnya hijau berkilauan, dan mungkin peri-peri akan senang menari-nari di pinggirannya, seperti di bukit Argive atau lembah Creta. Kami duduk dan membersihkan bunga-bunga yang kami petik dari tangkai-tangkainya dan daun-daunnya yang telah layu. Kelopak-kelopak bunganya kami jadikan buket-buket untuk mengisi keranjang-keranjang kami dengan keharumannya yang manis. Si Gadis Pendongeng menyisipkan sejumlah bunga berwarna merah jambu indah di ikal-ikal rambutnya yang cokelat, kemudian menceritakan sebuah legenda kuno tentang gadis Indian yang cantik, yang meninggal karena patah hati ketika butir-butir salju pertama mulai turun, karena dia percaya kekasihnya yang telah lama pergi sudah berpaling darinya. Tetapi kekasihnya kembali pada musim semi, setelah lama mendekan sebagai tawanan. Ketika mendengar si gadis telah meninggal, dicarinya makam gadis itu untuk diratapinya. Di sana, di bawah dedaunan mati sisa-sisa tahun lalu, dia menemukan kuncup-kuncup bunga yang manis, yang belum pernah terlihat, dan tahulah dia bahwa itu adalah pesan cinta serta kenang-kenangan dari kekasihnya yang berbola mata hitam.

"Selama ini aku menjadi terlalu sadar akan semua yang ada pada diriku. Aku takut, takut orang lain memandang diriku seperti caraku memandang orang lain."

Passion

Yesterday's Radio Show was so impressive! White Shoes and The Couples Company was there with Fariz RM. I've been waiting so long to see WSATCC on TV. They are so unlikely the band who perform on TV show three times a day. But that what makes them worth waiting and worth watching! They played Vakansi, Matahari, Kisah Dari Selatan Jakarta, Senandung Maaf, dan Senja Menggila. They were too damn cool. Nothing too much on their stage act, but it just flattered me by looking at those people enjoying their own part in the band. I'm no hyperboling. They collaborated with Fariz RM for Selangkah Keseberang and it was such a collaboration. Eventhough Fariz and WSATCC's style of interpreting the song is kinda different, but they were cool enough. There was also another interesting thing in the show last night. A carrier consultant came as a guest. His way of explaining how your passion can avoid you from working for the rest of  your life is so much amazing. His expression, intonation, words, so fine. But there is one thing I've been wondering since yesterday. What''s my passion? There are some ways to answer this question:

1. When you're talking to your friends or partners, what do you usually talk the most?
2. When you're browsing on the internet, what do you usually look for the most?
3. What seems to be your hobby?
4. When you're happy doing it, then your passion is there
5. Nothing to be insisted in doing something that seems to be your passion

okay, i tried to answe them, and yes I found it, ART, specifically, MUSIC. This is, I think the best thing in my life I could ever get. When I sing, I don't feel I am insisting myself to do that. I can't even wait to sing when there's a possibility to do it.You don't need to get something in return when you're done doing your passion. You're doing it because you're happy to do it and you want to do it not because you need to do it. Now, that's passion for sure. And I started to think that I can't just easily do my passion. I need to have something before I can enjoy my life doing my passion. I need to have done my parent's passion of achieving university. AHAAA! 

Tanya Kenapa?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti kita berjalan tidak di jalan setapak indah setahun yang lalu?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti kita kekurangan cahaya?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti kita berbeda?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti aku di kanan kamu di kiri?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti sulit memahami?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti pohon yang kokoh itu berniat untuk menumbangkan dirinya sendiri?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti tidak ada tautan?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti terus tenggelam makin dalam?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti bukan mencintai harum bunga, tapi mahkota bunganya?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti dekat tapi jauh?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti menyayat urat nadi tanpa ekspresi?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti hambar?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti sekuel-sekuel yang tidak pernah selesai namun sudah memulai yang baru?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti tempurung lutut yang remuk?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti kita pergi kemana angin membawa kita?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti dipancung?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti menangis tapi tidak mampu menyeka air matanya?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti lebih sesak daripada sebelumnya?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti dunia jadi hitam-putih?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti aku bukan milikmu?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti kamu bukan milikku?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti dua sisi magnet berkutub sama berusaha disatukan?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti ketukan jari yang sama tak pernah berubah, entah cepat entah lambat?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti sisa bara api yang dibiarkan tidak dibersihkan?

Kenapa belakangan ini seperti ^%$*&(&Hhguy&^%&%*&90-??!!***?

Terima Kasih Tuhan

Terima kasih Tuhan, Tuhan memberkati keluargaku sampai detik ini. Terima kasih Tuhan tetap merangkul keluargaku, hingga kami terus dapat berada di dalam kasih Tuhan. Terima kasih Tuhan berkati pekerjaan Papa yang semakin baik. Terima kasih Tuhan selalu memberikan kesehatan untuk Mama, hingga sampai sekarang, meskipun banyak hal yang harus beliau lakukan, beliau tetap ada untuk kami. Terima kasih Tuhan, buat penyertaan Tuhan untuk Valent sampai saat ini. Valent masih muda Tuhan, banyak hal yang Valent tidak mengerti, tapi Tuhan terima kasih, Tuhan selalu menjauhkan Valent dari hal yang tak seharusnya Valent sentuh. Terima kasih untuk adik yang selalu ada bersama Valent, terima kasih untuk Vierla. Terima kasih Tuhan sudah berikan segala yang baik untuk dia. Terima kasih untuk penyertaan Tuhan hingga di hampir penghujung tahun ini. Valent tahu, pertolongan dan berkat Tuhan tidak pernah terlambat. Selalu tepat waktu. Itulah yang sekarang terjadi pada Papa, Mama, Valent dan Vierla. Terimakasih Tuhan. Luruskan jalan kami Tuhan, biarkanlah hanya  yang segala dari Tuhan yang kami pahami. Valent yakin Tuhan selalu mengampuni dan melindungi kami semua. Valent yakin kasih Tuhan tidak akan pernah habis. Tuhan, rangkul kami lebih dalam lagi Tuhan. Kami ingin dekat Tuhan dan anak-anakMu yang lain Tuhan. Valent yakin, Tuhan selalu ada buat kami. Tunjukkan mana yang baik dan yang tidak untuk kami, Tuhan. Kami tidak ingin salah melangkah.

why always thorns? why not the petals of roses?

I know we're living in a very insane and negative world. But that doesn't mean we can always pessimistly saying it wouldn't change. That doesn't mean we can always take everything as a negative thing. We still have love here, in this world you take as an insane thing. I don't like the way you never excited on anything that's not into you. I don't like the way you take something as a waste, when in fact you can still pick a life lesson from it. This world is beautiful enough for us. If we just want to throw that negative energy or just conquere it with the positive one. It's hard for you to see something multisidely, I know that. That's why. You are, somekind of pathetic. I'm sick of talking to you. You always see something negatively. I've tried so hard to just be cool with that. But, I can't believe it I am not that able. I don't wanna be like you. I want to be happy. Not letting my brain to be damaged by thinking anything negatively. It's not about being prude. It is totally different. I am talking about the ability to see the light when every place is dark.You just can't or you won't let yourself can. Sorry.

...

"Senyum kalian itu semangatku. Hal yang membuatku yakin aku telah melakukan hal yang benar. Hal yang membuat aku yakin lagu ini sudah cukup indah untukku. Tapi mungkin kalian tidak pernah sadar betapa berharganya senyum kalian itu. Senyum kalian bagiku itu layaknya air dan matahari bagi tumbuhan. Baju bagi manusia, perahu bagi nelayan, ombak bagi laut, pasir bagi pantai, mahkota bagi bunga. Tanpa senyum kalian, aku kehilangan setengah semangatku."

Air Mukamu

27th October 2011
07.20 a.m.
Chemistry Class - @Science Laboratorium

PM : Valent, sini kamu sini

G : Saya? Kenapa, Pak?

PM : Sini dulu

jalan ke meja guru lab. kimia

PM : Kamu lagi ada masalah ga sih?

G : *bingung setengah mati* Ha? Ga ada, Pak? Kenapa?

PM : Bener kamu ga ada masalah? Di sekolah? Di rumah?

G : Engga, beneran deh Pak. Biasa aja kok

PM : Kamu ke gereja ga sih?

G : Iyalah Pak, setiap minggu.

PM : Selain hari minggu?

G : Oh, iya sih Pak kadang kadang kalo lagi latihan sama temen gereja. Kenapa, Pak?

PM : Kamu bener ga ada masalah? Tiap hari bapak liatin kamu kayaknya bengong, diem, kayak lagi ada masalah berat gitu. Wajah kamu itu kayak lagi ada pikiran apaaa gitu. Tiba-tiba diem. Bener ga ada masalah?

G : *pengen nangis* Engga ada kok, Pak. Hehehe
*nyengir trus melengos lagi ke meja praktikum*


Segitu terlihat berbeban beratkah wajah saya tiap hari, Pak?
Yah kalaupun begitu, makasih ya Pak udah perhatian. 

Decision

Menentukan cita-cita, kini tidak lagi semudah dulu. Ketika belum ada harapan orang lain yang harus kita wujudkan. Ketika belum ada tuntutan.

Menentukan jalan ke depan, kini tidak lagi semudah dulu. Ketika belum terbayang kerumitannya. Ketika masih bening benakku. Belum terisi oleh keraguan & ketakutan.

Menentukan keinginan, kini tidak lagi semudah dulu. Ketika kita tahu, bahwa bukan keinginan aku sajalah yang penting. Ketika aku masih harus memikirkan dampak keinginanku bagi orang lain.

Menentukan pilihan, kini tidak lagi semudah dulu. Ketika jalan di depan masih lurus. Ketika belum ada banyak cabang membingungkan yang nyaris menjerumuskan.

Pada kenyataannya, aku dan hidupku begitu juga dengan kamu. Tidak akan bertambah mudah. Ketika umur aku dan kamu bertambah. Maka satu persatu hal baru akan muncul.
Aku dan kamu akan dihadapkan pada banyak pilihan. Bukan sekedar harus memilih permen cokelat atau es krim ketika kita kecil dulu. 

Dunia berubah. Aku berubah. Kamu berubah.

Seperti apapapun kita berubah nanti, pastikan itu maju, bukan mundur.

What is wrong with crying?

Why some people don't care about tears that dropped down on someone's face?
Why some people don't event want to know why they're crying?
Why some people see a cry as a useless thing to do?
Why some poeple laugh at someones sadness? OR EVEN ANGRY AT IT?

What is so wrong with crying?

I hate this moment. When all I can do is crying. When there's no word I could say.
The worst part is not when I cry and able to talk none.

but when no one responses

When I cry it means I can't do other thing to express my emotion. I choose to cry rathert than to be angry. I am weak, it's true. But it seems like not everybody like to see a cry. And the worst fact that 

they are my parents

When I cry, I want a care. I want someone to ask me "Why are you crying?" not someone that would say


"Why are you crying, fool" or "Can you please stop crying? You're a grown up girl now!" even the sweetest sentences "Dear, just don't cry. Stop it"

I WANT TO ASK YOU WHAT IS REALLY WRONG ABOUT CRYING?

I just can not understand how these people see a cry. I cry easily I know, it's because the pain has been on my mind for like million years. It's aching deep down inside. It hurts

but it seems like no one wants to understand

I don't think growing up means you can not cry.
A cry is not a kind of thing to be seen as a gross thing.
Well I care so much about a cry, that is why I can't accept when people angry at me when I am crying. Or even try to stop me
I never want to stop someone when they're crying. Because that could be the only thing they can do to erase the restlesness deep inside their heart. Who knows?

"He (Jesus) understands, when all I can do is cry. He feels the hurt that no one can see down inside and when the words get in the way i know. He still hears. For He understands my tears"

How good is good?

Belakangan ini sering bingung sama orang-orang apalagi sama diri sendiri. Kenapa? Dari sisi orang lain dulu deh. Orang lain yang notabene temen-temen sekolah, temen gereja, orang tua, saudara, dan yang lain lainnya itu gampang bikin aku ngerubah pandangan aku tentang mereka. I mean, really I change my opinion about them like a girl change her clothes kalo kata Katy Perry.

Entah ini salah aku atau mereka ya. Tapi orang yang dulunya aku anggap the best,super, dan segalanya, sekarang berubah. Mungkin ya, mereka itu baik cuman di kesempata-kesempatan tertentu. Dan aku itu orangnya asal banget. Misalnya, ada orang bisa diajak curhat langsung dibilang baik. Ya emang dia lagi baik kali makanya bisa diajak curhat. Eh 2 hari kemudian, dia bikin aku bete. Trus langsung berubah deh "ih rese banget, ternyata ya dia tuh ga nyangka ih"

D.O.H

 Mending sekali kali ngerasa begitu. Lah ini hampir semua orang aku gituin. Makanya, aku mutusin untuk gamau nilai orang dengan predikat "SUPER BEST" "MY BESTIES" dan bla bla bla bla
Karena kamu semua harus tau satu hal. Everyone is going to hurt you, you just have got to look for those who worth suffering for. Atauuu, kalo emang ga ada yang worth suffering for itu, pilihan terakhir, avoid yourself from being close to them.

So all i have to do is just neutralizing everything. Ga ada lagi "The Best People In My Life". Karena kita ga bisa yang namanya ngarepin semua orang bakal selalu well-done buat kita. Toh kita juga ga bisa segitu sempurnanya kan buat mereka. Yah terserah sih, itu hak tiap orang buat ngasih predikat ini itu buat orang di sekitar dia. Tapi buat aku, itu useless banget. Inget ya, ini menurut aku dan aku ga nyalahin orang lain yang pendapatnya beda. It's all up to you :)

Predikat itu buat sesuatu yang stabil. At least for a pretty long period of time. Bukan berarti harus selamanya stabil, at least jangan berlaku buat sehari dua hari. Sama aja kayak predikat Profesor. Mana ada orang udah dapet predikat Profesor trus 2 bulan kemudian di copot predikatnya?
Naaaaaaaaahhh.. dapet kan konsepnya HOHAHOHAHOHA

Dan satu hal lagi yang bakal jadi punch line yang nyambung sama judulnya. Ukuran setiap orang tentang baik itu beda-beda. Belum tentu ngasih wafer T*ngo  itu bisa bikin orang seneng. Kalo kamu kasih itu wafer T*ango ke orang yang udah obesitas kan beda urusannya. Bisa-bisa malah nangis dia -___-

Perubahan penilaian tentang sikap seseorang juga bergantung sama orientasi orang itu terhadap kata dan makna dari "BAIK". Sesuatu yang buat kamu okay, belum tentu okay buat orang lain. 


Cheers!

Study Tour : Malabar, Pangalengan, Bandung

Aloha pals! This is one day after the insane study tour my school held two days ago. It was two days one night laughing adventure and we were actually lived in the bus and no in the hotel. Why? We spent too much time in the bus, we checked in at the hotel at about 9 pm and checked out at about 9 am. We started our trip from our lovely school SMAN 10 Bekasi at 7.30 am and just went straight to Malabar Tea Field. It was windy there, not too  cold, the air was fine there. The road was pretty long to Malabar, so we arrived there at about 12 if I’m not mistaken. And at 1 we ate our lunch, some of them went to mosque to shalat and at 2 pm the social department students stayed at Malabar to do a small research and observation about the tea field itself. And the science department students went to BPB Kentang. It was a place to produce potato seeds.

The first thing I captured was this thing. I didn’t really know what was this for but I am sure that this thing is from Japan and it was in the screen B area.

This is one of the building to grow seeds in Screen B. A bit smelly here, maybe because the natural manure they use to maximize the soil quality. They have 3 units like this in here. Oh! One thing you have to know, this place was given by the government of Japan. They have a little monument that tells about it but I didn’t take a photo of it!!!! OMG I regret it a lot lot lot lot.

This explains enough about why this place grows well. The utilities they use are good and all of them were manufactured in Japan. See the instruction board there, still written in Japan and there isn’t any translation, even in English. 

         

This is the Screen House A-4 room. I couldn’t get a clear picture of what’s in those bed thingy. They were seed beds. A place to grow G.0 seeds. G.0 was the kind of the seed, which is still young and new. The G.0 seeds were like white threads, they’re a bit transparent and they are a lot. You can see it if you were there. Unluckily the camera couldn’t reach clearly into the inside of the bed seeds. Yet, the G.0 seeds were a little bit hard to see because it was a bit transparent.

 

 

The crowd and some friends from XI Science 1, which is my beloved class. Yeah, we had our task there. We had to conclude all of our observation by answering the question on the paper that was given by the teacher. We filled it out together of course! And we finished it fast.

This is me! In front of the Screen A building. My friend took it for me. LOL I was busy taking others photo, I almost didn’t have my own photo. But thank God, I got some.

We love to take photo together! The left one was after we finished our task and so was the right one. But take a look at the photo on the right side. And everyone is asking why was Panji become so popular among the girls. LOL, I don’t wanna lie, a lot of girls asked me to take their photo with Panji. Not because of any flirty reason but it was just because Panji is the smartest creature in XI Science 1, that’s why. I have my own photo with him but not in this camera. I promise I’ve got to have that pict as soon as possible!

See a man with black t-shirt and black hat? That’s XI Science 1’s head teacher, Mr. Sudarto. These are not all of us, some still inside the Screen area maybe. So we took a photo with the guys who were around the parking lot.

 

Batak group! LOOOOOL it’s all I can say..HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Along the way back from BPB Kentang. I saw the cloud and it was a bit different. I think the sun was covered by the cloud and finally it looked like this. Beautiful…

Okay, these are loads of photos. It was in The Geology Museum. Honestly, that was my first time to visit the museum though I go to Bandung quiet often. And I think this museum is pretty awesome because they have enough things inside. I couldn’t take photos of all of them because the battery pack was in a low condition so I decided to just took a photos of something that sparks my eyes. And those things are above.

The Geology Museum was the last place to visit for the second day. And finaly, we went home. It took 2 hours to get back to our school again. I’m wishing I can get 3 or 4 days more with you guys. This study tour was no longer about our score or whatever. It was all about us! About our togetherness. So sad Ajeng couldn’t join us for those two amazing days. Thought we didn’t get a very very fine hotel. As long as we are together and have fun, it’s okay! I am gonna miss you guys so so so so bad! I can’t forget the moment when Abul, Bapak, Bagus, Tri, Unggul and other boys who sat in the back of the bus sang the song of Vicky Shu ‘Mari Bercinta’ or when you guys yelling ‘Andecaaaa andeciii…’ or when you guys trying to be ‘Anak Dugem’ using an emergency light which was provided in the bus. And when you guys waving goodbye to almost all people on our way back to hotel from BPB Kentang, when we laugh about the video of our class that stucked when it came to show Chae’s formal photo with Kebaya and full make up and we laughed so hard because of that. And we became so quiet when we all got so tired after a very long trip. And I remember the time we laugh while taking our friends’ sleeping photos or when Hira’s food fell off until almost 5 times LOL. There are lots of memories we have from this study tour guys. I don’t think I am capable to forget you all. I hope we can have another good time together. I love you!